Lost and Redeemed
by Nickka
Summary: aka Brotherhood ..repost.. As her body dangled by her neck, she felt muscles and tendons being torn from their moors inside her body. Unable to scream, she closed her eyes tightly...Liv's in trouble again! WARNING: DISTURBING MATURE CONTENT! ...E/O eventually...
1. Chapter 1

This is one of my old stories which came to me in my dream very long time ago. I kept thinking about it since, and finally decided to give it a chance. I had published this one for a while ago. But then I decided to edit it a little bit and that's why I deleted the previous version of the story. The name of the story was **BROTHERHOOD** then. But I think this new title is much more appropriate.

I need to warn all readers,

**THIS STORY CONTAINS PRETTY DISTURBING ADULT CONTENT, SUCH AS DETAILED RAPE AND BEATING SCENES AND BRUTAL MURDER.**

Please do not read if it disturbs you.

* * *

**LOST AND REDEEMED 1**

"So how's work?" Olivia asked, smiling.

Simon glanced up at her from the magazine he was reading.

"Ugh, same problems, different day" he smiled back.

"Are you dating anyone? You know, I really liked that last girlfriend of yours." She suddenly burst our laughing, "What was her name? Sarah?"

"Her name was Sofia, and I am certainly not talking to you about my love life!" Simon spat.

"I don't see why not.." now Olivia was worried.

Simon smiled playfully, his teeth shining in the dark room.

"Well, since you're my overprotective big sister, I know I should not tell you about this, because, you know, we have some experienc..."

"Oh, shut up!" Olivia laughed loudly, giving him a rough shove so that he ended up strugling not to fall from the couch.

"Come on Livvy, I still remember what happened with Rebecca!"

"She was a freak, Simon," Olivia was holding her stomach, laughing hysterically, "She just ran out of the toilet, screaming, her pants around her ankles!"

"You pointed a god damn gun to her face, for god's sake Olivia!" he was laughing so hard that he was crying. He kept saying, "Oh boy, this is not a funny story."

"I heard her screaming, I was worried! What did you expect me to do?"

"She was just scared of a cockroach!"

"Well, it sounded like she was ATTACKED AND RAPED by a cockroach!"

"She thought you were my psycho girlfriend, trying to kill her!" Simon stated, wiping his tears of laughter out of his eyes. He rested his arm on her shoulder, and chuckled, "I'm glad she's out of my life though..."

"Yeah, so am I" Olivia released a breath.

They kept laughing and enjoying themselves. When it was getting late, Simon called it a night and started to get going, as Olivia asked him to stay and sleep on the couch. She didn't want him to drive home because thay had a few drinks. He simply smiled and accepted the offer, as he appreciated his sister's concern and nodded his head.

It was late that night, when Olivia heard the knocks on her apartment door. She almost jumped out of her skin. She tried desperately to control her breathing and slow the pounding of her heart.

"Who the hell is that?" Simon exhaled from the couch.

"No idea" she stated walking to the door. For a split second she considered not answering, but it went against her nature to be so discourteous. She peeped out of the door hole and saw Marc.

"Oh no!" she breathed.

"Who is it?" Simon sat up with a concerned expression on his face.

"Oh god!" she breathed again, obviously not hearing the question.

"Livvy, who is it?" he walked towards her, putting a hand on her shoulder, couraging her to look at him, "What's going on here, tell me?"

Her eyes filled with tears as she lowered them to her feet. She took a deep breath and looked back at him, her chin quivering, "It's Marc!" she declared whit a whisper.

His eyes widened. "Marc as in...?"

"Yes!" she simply replied.

_***FLASHBACK***_

_..laughter.._

_"Three out of three, it's in the blood!" Simon laughed, excited._

_"So," Olivia started with a serious expression on her face, "tell me about him, your dad?"_

_"Well, he always had his problems, but he was always good to me. That's why I can't believe. But here you are, a sister! You said you found me by chance?"_

_"Yeah, it was just something my mom said."_

_"Where's your mom?"_

_"She's dead.."_

_"So you're on your own now?"_

_"Pretty much.. As long as my nightmares allow me to be..."_

_"Nightmares?" Simon asked, worried._

_"Well, my background has been pretty abusive Simon, nothing extreme, mainly psychological..." Olivia said._

_"Is this about your mother?"_

_"Mostly.. But there's another person I need to mention Simon, you have the right to know..."_

_"Well, who is it?"_

_"You see, I actually have a twin brother, Marc!"_

_"A twin brother?" Simon was shocked, "Where is he now?"_

_"I don't know. I don't see him."_

_"How come?"_

_"Well he's... he's... some... kind of... different! We used to have fights around stupid things when we were younger. He was always... pretty... fucked up... agressive, you see. When we grow... uh... he has been pretty abusive towards me... emotionally, verbally and physically also... very controlling. He actually made my life hell!" she smiled harshly._

_"Oh, Livvy..." Simon took Olivia's hands in his, "didn't your mom do anything about it?"_

_Olivia smiled to herself again, "My mother was another interesting story, Simon. She was an alcoholic. Never been there for me, or for Marc either. I always wanted her to say 'I love you, I'll stand by you, you are very important to me' but she never did. I know she loved us inside, in her way, but we didn't feel it."_

_"What happened to Marc?" Simon asked, not releasing her hands._

_"I was at college when someday he broke into my dorm, overdozed, and tried to rape me, it was not the first time actually."_

_"RAPE YOU?"_

_"Yeah, like I said, it was not the first time. His attempts were always in vain though. But that was the closest one.. And I got a restraining order for him then. Well, and never heard of him since."_

_***END OF FLASHBACK***_

"And what are we gonna do now?" Simon asked, worried.

"I don't know" Olivia simply confessed.

"Let's don't open the door then."

"No Simon, I can't do that. He's my brother!"

With that, Olivia slowly twisted the door handle and began to pull the door open.

* * *

**tbc...**

**Saying of the day: "_Reviews make an author happy, and__ if they are happy they write more!_"**


	2. Chapter 2

**LOST AND REDEEMED 2**

* * *

Marc forced the door open from the outside, hitting Olivia in the face with it.

"Hey!" Simon protested, yet he was knocked unconscious with a blow to his face. Olivia was also out of balance from the hit. Before she could reach Simon, she fell on the floor.

Marc grabbed his twin sister from her hair and tossed her again to the floor. The fear set back in as she tried to get up only to have her brother throw her back down. Olivia was suddenly scared.

"What do you want, Marc?" she exhaled.

"Yeah, I missed you too, sissy!" he grinned.

He loomed over her and placed a strong hand over her mouth and press down forcefully.

"Now shut up!"

Being held down, Olivia began to kick and flail violently in an attempt to free herself. His arm was incredibly strong. Olivia saw the large muscles in his forearms ripple as he pressed his hand into her face.

Striking at him viciously, her fists landed several forceful blows to Marc's face but he did not waiver. Her arms thrashed wildly as he swiftly mounted her, his full weight now seated on her stomach. Olivia did not have time to react nor did she have the strength to fight the attack. She felt his body weight crushing her stomach and lower ribs. In an act of desperation, she clawed at his exposed neck, tightly digging her sharp fingernails into his flesh.

Marc groaned as he drew his arm back and, in one powerful sweeping motion back across his body, struck her forearm with his. The force of the blow caused her upper body to roll slightly. Sensing an opening in her feeble defense, he grasped her around the neck with both of his powerful hands, squeezing tightly.

Olivia trembled with fear as she realized she could not breathe. She began striking him in the forearms in an act of despair; doing anything she could to dislodge his vice-like grip from her throat. Her efforts were useless. His arms, now flexed tight and rigid, were unmovable.

Stuck somewhere in a state of middle-consciousness, Olivia's heart began to beat at an alarming rate. Adrenaline coursed through her body. She felt herself being lifted off the floor, Marc was effortlessly picking her up by her throat. Olivia gagged as her body screamed for oxygen. Within seconds, her brain felt the effects of being deprived of the glucose-rich blood it needed to remain alive.

Again, she punched him solidly in the face but her efforts were futile. He seemed to draw a sense of morbid arousal from her struggling. She felt her energy begin to wane.

Marc was now standing, Olivia's feet four or five inches off the floor. Suspended in the air by her throat, she felt herself losing consciousness.

She desperately needed to breathe. She used all her strength to try to pull his hands from her neck but he was too strong. A single tear ran down her cheek as the room began to spin. Her feet kicked back and forth as they dangled above her living room's carpeted floor.

'_I am going to die!_' she thought to herself as her eyes began to bulge, '_Simon! Please be alright!_'.

Olivia tried to scream but nothing escaped through his vice-like grip. Her legs began to spasm uncontrollably, almost as if she had been hanged by the neck; her vision began to darken.

She felt Marc pull her body into his and then, with incredible strength, he slammed her into the wall. Everything went black.

* * *

Marc smiled as he prepared to begin his desecration of Olivia's body.

Sliding his hands under the narrow band of elastic on her shorts, he quickly worked the material down to her feet. Grabbing her by the ankles, he pulled her to the edge of the bed until her abdomen was perpendicular to the edge of her mattress. Her legs hung limp over the edge of the bed as he used his feet to spread her legs.

He throbbed with anticipation as he knelt behind her. Spitting in the palm of his hand and on his fingers, he shoved his thick fingers into her and worked the natural lubricant around. Spreading the remainder over himself, he stood and stepped between her muscular legs.

Olivia began to stir, slowly regaining consciousness. Her head throbbed achingly as she tried to open her eyes. Sensing her coming to, he drove viciously into her. Still dazed and incoherent, Olivia felt something slamming against her deepest parts. She tried to scream in agony but no sounds were produced. Confused, she tried to clear her head.

As each second ticked by, she regained her senses and pieced together the last few minutes of her life. Realizing she was being brutalized, Olivia fiercely tossed her body back and forth, trying to dislodge Marc.

"Uh uh uh! Stop resisting, sissy!" he groaned into her ear.

"Get off of me!" she cried.

"Or what Olivia? What are you gonna do?"

"I swear to god, I'll kill you Marc!"

"Not if I kill you first, honey!" he grinned, "..or.. our little baby brother Simon!"

"Simon!" she panicked, "SIMON?"

It was then when Olivia noticed his brother Simon was in front of her, sitting with a bruised, bloody face and a broken nose, tied and taped to a chair. He was looking right at Olivia with eyes full of terror.

"Oh god, Simon!" she breated..

"Yeah, now stop strugling Olivia. Otherwise I'm not responsible of what happens to Simon!" with that he grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked.

Olivia had not yet come to the realization her hands were cuffed. Trying to pull her hands apart to defend herself, she winced in pain as the metal cut into her flesh. She began to panic, her body racked with terror.

Marc placed his strong hand between her shoulder blades, pressing down hard. He continued to violate her as he pinned her against the bed.

Olivia was helpless. As Marc continued to slam into her, she found an opportunity to attack. With her hands behind her back, she waited patiently until he moved. At one point, he leaned forward slightly, exposing his bare abdomen to her. When he did, she clamped down tightly on his skin and twisted her wrists as best she should.

He groaned in pain and her fingernails filleted the skin on his stomach.

Enraged, he grabbed the handcuffs by the linking chain and pulled her arms violently upward. Intense, searing pain shot through her left shoulder as it dislocated. Her arm burned as she felt soft tissue being torn within her shoulder.

Olivia began crying uncontrollably, tears streaming down her face. Her nasal passages began to fill, making it more difficult for her to breath. Being held in such an awkward position caused her airway to be partially blocked.

Without warning or obvious reason, Marc suddenly stopped and removed himself.

As she sucked in the fresh air, Marc rolled her over and tried to step between her firm, tanned legs. Olivia summoned all the courage she could muster and delivered a direct kick to his stomach. Her heel connected with his muscular stomach. Other than driving him back, her kick seemed to have little effect on him.

She tried to follow her first blow with a second, this one aimed at his groin, but her kick fell short. Before she could mount a third kick, he was on her. Using his weight, he pinned her legs flat against the bed by straddling her. Her hands remained cuffed behind her back. Olivia winced in pain as the handcuffs cut into her skin.

As he sat on top of her, he grabbed Olivia by the throat. She felt his fingers tighten around her trachea. Sliding his body off of hers, he guided her by her throat. Olivia had no choice but to comply.

Still gripping her throat, he positioned Olivia's body at the edge of the bed and stepped between her legs. Forcing her legs apart with his muscular legs, he slammed her backwards on the bed again.

Olivia wept, unable to breathe as he choked off her air.

With his free hand, he guided himself inside her. Olivia's heart was beating fast. Once again she was slipping out of consciousness.

As he violated her body, he paused suddenly and released his grip.

"Now tell me Olivia... One of you is gonna end up death tonight!... NOW TELL ME!... Is that you, or Simon?... You?... Simon?" he asked in a voice void of emotion and any sense of humanity or remorse.

"Kill me, you asshole!" Olivia panted, her eyes meeting Simon's.

Marc wrapped his hands completely around her neck and lifted her up.

"NO! NO! NO! STOP!" Simon screamed behind the tape on his mouth...

Olivia felt like her head was being pulled from her torso as her body hung underneath her. White starry flashes shot across her vision. As her body dangled by her neck, she felt muscles and tendons being torn from their moors inside her body. Unable to scream, she closed her eyes tightly.

* * *

**tbc...**

**Saying of the day: "_Reviews make an author happy, and__ if they are happy they write more!_"**


	3. Chapter 3

**LOST AND REDEEMED 3**

* * *

Tied to the chair, Simon was helpless; he could do nothing but watch his sister suffer.

"Let her go! No! No!"

Despite her humiliation and the pain and the fact that she would never be able to look Simon in the eye again, Olivia smiled to Marc: "Just kill me!"

"NOOO!" Simon screamed.

In one quick movement, Marc placed Olivia's feet on the ground and stepped behind her. Things were now blurry as she felt his hands wandering on her naked skin. On her stomach, down her back, between her legs...

"You know what, sissy?" he groaned inside her ear, "I'm not gonna kill you yet! Because I don't like screwing corpses!"

With that he throw her back to the bed violently, and started punching her in the face until blood filled her mouth and choked her with such force that she nearly lost consciousness.

Marc placed his hands on her body, so as to discourage her from fidgeting, and he gradually began to bite her breast. But she was already unable to move, and even whimper.

He opened his mouth farther, and gave her entire left breast a hard bite. Olivia moaned. Marc pressed both of his hands against her torso. She grasped the cushion with her hands, trying to find a way to tolerate the pain.

He just kept his teeth clenched around her breast, and sank his teeth even harder into her tender muscle. Olivia cried in agony. It wasn't until he could taste her blood against his lips that he decided to release his clasp.

Marc looked down at his work, and saw bloody teeth marks all around her breasts, with her blood dripping down her underarms onto the bed. He pulled a hanky from his pocket and wiped the blood.

"Oh poor baby.. My poor poor baby!" he remarked, smiling devilishly.

Then he pried her legs open, and violently dropped down onto her body as he forced himself inside her again...

Over and over...

Olivia just lied there. Limp. Helpless. Fragile. Brutalized. Beaten. Bloody. Shaking, awaiting her death. It never came...

She could hear Simon's sobs and the shaking of his body.

Marc lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. "Ah," he sighed as the nicotine fix took affect, "I've been waiting for this so long, Olivia. So bad... Thank you, sister!"

"Why are you doing this?" she choked out the words in between her heavy sobs and body spasms.

"Why am I doing this?" Marc turned to Simon, "Why am I doing this, Simon?" he removed the tape on his mouth, "Do you have any idea?"

"This is sick! You are sick!" Simon spoke, his eyes wide open in fright. He took a deep breath and cried, "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!"

Marc stopped Simon with a massive punch in his chin. Simon's brain bounced inside his skull. A weak whimper escaped Olivia's throat.

Marc grabbed his hunting knife and ran to Olivia's side, and shouted: "You better shut the fuck up, Simon! Or I'll jam this god damned knife down into her mouth! NOW TELL ME WHY AM I DOING THIS?"

Simon swallowed the blood filling in his mouth, "I don't know, Marc. I just don't wanna know!" He was shaking.

"Oh, I'll tell you then my baby brother!" Marc moved towards Simon again, "I am doing this just because of your prick father, Simon!" He walked to Olivia again, "...and because of you, Olivia! My perfect twin sister!" He grabbed her wirst and pulled her down from the bed.

"Olivia is better! Olivia is smarter! Oh look at Olivia, isn't she pretty? Olivia this! Olivia that!" Marc was shouting uncontrollably. He angrily grabbed his sister by the hair and flung her head towards him and slammed the back of her head to the floor. It hit with a loud smacking thud as he yelled.

"AREN'T WE THE SAME FILTH, OLIVIA? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TURN OUT SO PERFECT?" He didn't notice the blood that began to trickle from the back of her head.

Miraculously, Olivia had a huge headache but she was still alive. Once again, he grabbed her by the hair and for a second time he slammed her head into the floor. She could no longer fend off the attack because she could no longer lift her arms. She was at her brother's mercy. Her entire body ached but Olivia was too confused to realize it. The only time she felt pain now was when he hit her again.

Marc then rolled her onto her stomach, stood over her and removed the belt from his pants and rolled it around his right hand and began to viciously bring it down onto her naked body, causing her to jump slightly with every powerful spank. It was at this point that he finally realized that Olivia was bleeding from the head and probably dying but he didn't care. He kept hitting her with his belt. When he heard her whimpering weakly he threw the belt to the floor and dropped down onto her and began to punch her in the kidneys with all his strength. She gagged and the blood spewed out of her mouth as Marc kept punching her.

He rolled his sister onto her back and tried to kiss her on the mouth passionately. She twisted her head to one side instinctively. He sat up and punched her in the stomach.

Simon couldn't take it anymore. Between his hysterical screams, not caring the fact that he was tied to the chair, he threw himself down with his face to the ground.

Marc grabbed his belt and started whipping Simon, but stopped as he heard the weak whimpers coming from Olivia's lips: "Don't. hurt. him! Beat me... kill me... don't hurt him!" Her eyes were closed. She was more like whispering to herself.

Marc felt the blood rush to his head. He ran to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. He poured the water to her face, "I need you to see this!" he exhaled. He pulled Olivia under her arms and made her sit against the wall, in front of Simon. He made sure her eyes were open before he made his way to Simon who was still struggling on the floor.

Marc fixed the chair and now Simon was sitting on the chair again. He made his way behind Simon, grabbed a fistful of his hair from behind.

Looking Olivia right in the eyes, Marc spoke: "You love him, don't you sister?"

Her eyes were filling up with tears again. She was weeping for her brothers, for both of them. "Don't..." she begged.

"Livvy..." Simon cried.

"You gave him all your love... ALL YOUR LOVE..." Marc cried as he put his knife flat against Simon's throat, and just before Olivia had a chance to say anything the blade ran its course and the skin on his neck separated into a macabre flesh fountain that spurted brown and red jets of blood.

"NO..!"

She couldn't keep looking at it. Closing her eyes, she just prayed to die.

A few minutes later, when she finally knew that the darkness was about to take over her body, she felt a warm liquid dropping on her hands. With great effort, she tried to open her eyes and saw Marc holding Simon's chopped head in his hands, just over her body. With a huge grin in his face, Marc released his grip, and caused Simon's head drop in Olivia's lap.

* * *

**tbc...**

**I know I'm sick! I'm s sorry for this!**


	4. Chapter 4

**LOST AND REDEEMED 4**

* * *

Terror...

All he could feel was terror. Hard and heavy as a stone, weighing him down. The only thing flashed through his eyes... was Terror...

Like his chest was clenching up and about to burst at the same time.

His heart was pounding in his ears.

Pure terror...

Morning lights were coming through the heavy curtains. The scent of the apartment was the same... He blinked his eyes in disbelief, there was blood on the walls and floor, furniture, everywhere! Furnishings were strewn and there was no sign of any living thing.

He felt incredible fear, like reality itself was collapsing upon him. And in a way it was. Cold sweat covered his body. He was alone in semi-darkness, alone in the world. He was going insane with fear. For a moment, he was frozen in panic.

A step forward.

Suddenly, his blood rushed to his head, throbbing behind his eyes. The world just stopped. Everything stopped. Everything blurred. Everything stood still and he just stared, wide-eyed, at the headless corpse that was tied to a chair in Liv's bedroom. Liv's bedroom! Liv's! LIV!

He was horrified! He had to find her. He needed to see her. He desperately needed to see her, ALIVE!

He needed to find Liv... His Liv...

His partner...

His best friend...

His guiding light through everything in his life...

His confidant...

His conscience...

Everything...

And everything was empty now. As he stood right in front of her bedroom door, terrified to step in... Terrified to find her wounded.

Trembeling, his hand reached forward to grab the door handle. His paws were slick and sweaty, knuckles were white. His head was trying to calm his erratic breathing; but his heart refused to slow its mad pulsating in his chest.

One more step...

And it was over. She was there; naked, beaten, lying in a fetus position on the ground. She was pale and scacely breathing. Her brown eyes, wide open and blood shut, were staring dormant into the emptiness. Her arms were tightened around Simon's head as she kept pressing it to her chest.

"Oh god, Liv!" Elliot exhaled. He rushed to her side.

* * *

**tbc...**


	5. Chapter 5

**LOST AND REDEEMED 5**

* * *

_A giant wooden door opened with a squeak of rusty hinges, revealing the silhouette of a woman in the darkness..._

_A little boy curled up on his bed under the duvet, closed his eyes tight..._

_The woman approached the bed and sat down on the edge..._

_The boy tuned his face away, his little hands covering his ears..._

_A ligthning flashed..._

_The thunder almost deafening..._

_A hand reached out, removed the duvet..._

_The door slammed shut..._

_Some rocks toppled down from a hill..._

_A child screamed..._

_The little boy removed his haed..._

_A water drop dropped into a pool of water..._

_A light lightened..._

_A hand reached out to her..._

_A whisper was heard; "Olivia!"_

_The boy shyly walked along a dark, humid corridor..._

_A ball bounced against a wall then into the ground..._

_The woman followed the boy along the corridor..._

_The sound of the thunder faded away..._

_The lights went out..._

_"WAKE UP!"_

* * *

It was cold. She smelled the air. _Hospital_, she thought. _Why am I here?_

Suddenly, with a blinding flash it all came back to her. That night, in her apartment, all the atack, the rape, Marc, Simon...

Her eyes flied open with a wave of shock. An unbearable physical pain took over her body as the lights hurt her eyes and she shot them back again. She could not stop the feeling, it was like she had been falling from a cliff for a very long time. Her lungs were about to explode. Her mind was fuzy.

She felt her blood rushing to her head and suddenly her whole body started to shake. She moaned with pain and started to squirm and writhe. She was not able to control her body, which was now cramping and still trembling.

* * *

With dark rings under his eyes, Elliot Stabler, who had been sitting on a chair right in front of the IC room for six days, heard a bitter scream of pain and suddenly jumped up to his feet. His body was exhausted, he grabbed the door frame to get his balance back when his legs gave way under him. He ran to the room and held the door open as two female doctors rushed in the room and to Olivia's side.

She was kicking and screaming out of control, blood coming from her mouth and nose. Finally one of the doctors grabbed a needle and put it in her arm. She stirred and slipped into unconsciousness.

Elliot couldn't hold the vomit in anymore. Covering his mouth with one hand, he ran to the nearest lavatory and emptied his intense stomach.

He walked back to his chair. Holding his head between his hands, he just let the sobs come out slowly...

* * *

"She's out of coma," Elliot spoke two hours later.

There was slightly a smile on Don Cragen's face, "Is she alright?"

"They gave her drugs to make her sleep again, Captain. She was kicking and screaming. It was like hell."

"How's she physically?"

"Well, broken bones are healing, cuts and wounds are better. She still has some scars, though."

At that time one of Olivia's doctors walked toward them. Somehow, the serene face of the doctor had Elliot down.

"How's she, doctor?" Cragen asked.

"Well, Olivia's awake now. Her physical situation is improving, but her emotional state is still very precarious." she spoke.

Don and Elliot just kept looking at eachother.

"Actually," the doctor continued, "there is one more thing I need you to talk to you about..."

* * *

**tbc...**


	6. Chapter 6

**LOST AND REDEEMED 6**

* * *

"I'm worried about her mental state" doctor Stevens spoke. She slightly bowed her head, deciding what to say, "She's not responding..."

"What do you mean, doc?" Elliot asked suspiciously. His head was spinning. He was sick of the noise in his ears.

"She's in a catatonic state. She won't talk, won't cry, won't scream, and won't even move actually. She's not functioning at all. I suggest she's in shock and..."

"She's in shock," Elliot repeated, "But she'll be fine, won't she?" he was anxious, he was feeling lost, he was unhappy, he was nervous, he was tense, he was curious, he was impatient, he was depressed, he was scared... He was... He was everything... He was nothing, _without her,_ he mentally added.

"To be honest detective, I don't know."

"She hates hospitals... She hates hospitals..." Elliot kept saying, "maybe if I could just take her out of here..."

"Well..." the doctor cut in, "I don't think this is a good idea, detective!" she smiled slightly, "we should wait."

"Can we... Can I... Can we see her?"

"Sure, this way..."

* * *

Elliot put his hand on the door and weakly pushed it open, not knowing what to expect, not daring to expect anything. He opened the door only to see his partner lying in her hospital bed, staring into the emptiness, pale and obviously in pain. The woman he had known for almost ten years, one of the most strongest and most beautiful people in the world, his dear partner, seemed so calm but extremely depressed at the same time. It was odd.

_One thing only Liv could do_, he thought.

She was chilled, breathing harshly in one minute, and then she was peaceful but clammy. There was a neck protector around her neck. Her face and arms were bruised. He couldn't dare to imagine the rest of her body. She was just there, before his eyes, injured, beaten and weak, in her bed, and suffering so much. He just wanted to hold her and cry for the rest of the day.

Elliot was furious and terrorized.. He felt extremely cold yet he was sweating underneath. He sucked in some air and held it. He breathed in again, a huge gulp of oxygen. He rested his head on the door frame behind him with a soft thud. His thoughts were spinning untempered through his head. His mind was numb, he looked down at his feet. It was minutes later he finally found the courage to approach the bed and sit on the chair beside his dearest Liv.

Donald Cragen, who was not so brave about entering the room, slowly walked inside after Elliot. He suddenly burst in tears as he saw the person whom he loved as a daughter in such a vulnerable state. He couldn't help but sob loudly. Olivia flinched at his voice. He couldn't take it anymore and slowly walked out of the room, entrusting her to Elliot.

Elliot turned his head and looked at Olivia's empty eyes. "Liv.." he wispered. She didn't seem to notice. He felt some kind of strange relief. Seeing her, no mather how bad and desperate she looked, brought him a solid feeling of security. For the first time in days, he finally rested his head, just near hers, and closed his eyes...

* * *

_"Elliot" there was a weak whisper..._

_"Elliot!" again. His eyes flipped open first, blinked, then just stared._

_"Wha..." He rapidly pushed himself up._

_She was looking at him with teary, red eyes. She was weak and tired but yet she smiled._

_"Liv! You alright?" he asked, standing up in a hurry. He panicked suddenly, "I'll go get doctor Stevens!"_

_"No!" she moaned, "El, wait!" She raised her hand and faintly reached for him, "Don't... leave..."_

_He turned around and grabbed her hand._

_"Oh, Liv! I was so scared! So... so much scared!" he cired._

_She kept smiling as a single tear escaped from her eye. "I'm fine," she whispered._

_Elliot chuckled to the statement, "Yeah yeah, you are..."_

_"I thought I was gonna lose you, Liv. I was terrified! I don't know how life would be without you!"_

_"But you have me now." she kept looking him in the eye._

_"Yeah, I do!" he put his hand on her forehead and slowly removed the hair from her face._

_"I love you!" he suddenly said, caresing one of her cheeks, "Oh Liv, I love you so much!"_

_She didn't respond. He regretted what he had said, "I'm sorry. I... I didn't..."_

_"No, don't be sorry." she spoke. Her face flinched for a second, and then light up with a sensuous smile, "El, you know I love you, too." She was clearly in pain and discomfort. She tried to fake another smile but she failed._

_"Liv, what's wrong? Tell me where is hurting?"_

_She moaned as the pain flowed through her body. Tears seeped from the corners of her eyes. "Oh God!" she cried out._

_"OLIVIA!"_

_"Don't cry!" she ordered boldly, grinding out. She whimpered. Eyelids fluttering, and her grip slowly loosening she began to lose her consciousness, "I love you..."_

_"No, no, no, no! Olivia! NO! Just stay with me, Liv! LIV!" Elliot screamed._

_The last trace of color disappeared from her cheek, she slowly gave her last breath._

_"O-L-I-V-I-A-!"_

* * *

Again, he opened his eyes to the reality from his nightmare and saw her eyes were wide open and she was depressed from his tense voice screaming her name. She started kicking and moving really quickly and suddenly, almost in crazy, jerking movements. Beeping sounds suddenly covered the room as doctors rushed to her side. Her breath became more irregular as if gulping her air. She noticed as strange silhouettes surrounded her. She panicked. She was not capable of controlling her own body. She kept screaming, flinching with every touch before yelping out in pain. She just wanted to die.

Suddenly, she heard his voice again, calling her name. She was just focused on him. And she felt his soft touch on her cheek. The hand on her face was like her link to life. There he was, strong and confident, willing to protect her against any harm. He was her shield. As he kept caressing her forehead, whispering her name, miraculously she calmed down. Her eyes were closed now. She kept trembeling and groaning, but then she was finally calm. Her face was so peaceful, the pain and stress of the day left her when sleep took over her weary body. Her chest rose and fell softly with her breath, a small smile on her lips. Elliot stared at her in wonder, amazed at how strong and innocent she looked when the ravages of her life were freed by peaceful slumber...

Doctor George Huang, who was standing in the door frame, watching everything from his spot, was extremely amazed to see the connection between his two dear friends.

"You know what, Elliot" he spoke smiling, "I think _YOU_ should take her home..."

* * *

**tbc...**


	7. Chapter 7

**LOST AND REDEEMED 7**

* * *

_The room began spinning. The man walked in and shut the door behind him. He grabbed her hair and pulled her to her feet in the dark. She fought back and punched him in the face. He grabbed her by her arm and threw her to the floor again. Before she could get up he was on top of her, covering her mouth with one hand. She made one last attempt to free herself but had to give up when he took out his knife and put it to her throat. She felt the sharp pain on her neck as he moved the knife deeper…_

Olivia quivered and moaned in her sleep. Elliot walked over to her, sitting down next to her on the bed. He began softy stroking her hair. Her tremors stopped briefly.

Elliot was afraid that tomorrow she might feel worse and he didn't think he was quite ready to take her home, to take the responsibility himself. But he knew his partner, she hated hospitals. She was also really uncomfortable with all those people around her. They need to get out of the hospital. No matter how hard that would be for him, Elliot knew that for sure.

Doctor Stevens didn't let them get out of the hospital that soon. She decided to keep Olivia two more days for observation. Just to be sure… And tomorrow was the day.

During the time they stayed at the hospital, Olivia kept silent and avoiding every touch, avoiding everything. She was hurt, she was disoriented. She was not ready to face the fact that she had been attacked and raped by her own twin brother… She was not ready to except that her little brother was killed brutally, right before her eyes. She was not ready to look her friends in the eye… Especially Elliot… She was so ashamed, and yet glad for having him around in her hospital room, although she had not said anything to him yet. All she could do was to let him touch her, soothe her, comfort her. She reacted to every other touch sharply. She couldn't stand anyone touching her, even the doctors. Only Elliot was allowed. Just like now. As he kept caresing her forehead until her breath was steady again; Olivia forced herself to sleep reluctantly. That was the nineth nightmare in only one night; now Elliot was sick of watching her suffer and not being able to ease her pain.

Olivia seemed calm for a while. She was asleep. Suddenly, she took a gulp of air and grabbed Elliot by the arm. Her eyes were wide open, but obviously she was having another nightmare again. Her breath all rushed out of her lungs in a searing cry of hurt. "NOOOOOO!" she cried out, over and over, her body stiffening and dissolving into repeated spasms as the pain ripped through her.

"Shh, it's alrigt. It's over now, Liv, you're safe.. I've got you.. Shh…"

_That was the tenth,_ he thought. Olivia was now laying placid but obviously retless in her bed. Her eyes were fixed to the ceiling again. Her state made Elliot's flesh creep. It was scary to see her like that. For the first time in days, she actually said a word: "_No_"! In her dream… Elliot desperately hoped that meant something good, but obviously he was wrong. It broke his heart, to be there for her, to take care of her when she needed it, to soothe her; and in return to get nothing but an empty stare to the ceiling. He couldn't imagine the hell she had been through. He was so sad, he couldn't even think straight! He knew he was losing it.

He was scared…

In the end, sleep beat him and he placed his head next to her hand. A quick look at the clock on the far wall, told him it was almost five. Nurses would be there in two hours. He was going to sleep till then… "Love you, Liv" he whispered…

That was one of the most comfortable sleeps he had ever had.

* * *

The fifteen-minute drive to Elliot's apartment was quiet, aside from the radio that was playing softly in the background. Olivia was gazing emptily out of the window, one hand on her forehead and the other on her chest, with a sharp painful expression on her face. Elliot was worried. When he pulled in, he softly asked if she was alright. She did not respond. Without anymore talking, he simply helped her out of the car and up to the apartment.

Olivia hesitated for a second and desperately turned and looked at Elliot. He couldn't help but smile. For the first time in days, he finally had the chance to see her brown eyes meeting with his… Scared yes, but yet alive!

"Go on." he whispered, encouraging her with his beautiful smile.

Together, they walked into the apartment. He settled her on the couch, positioned pillows around her back and tugged a blanket over her lap. Then simply sat on the couch next to her. Olivia was distant again. He tried to think of something to say but words wouldn't come out of his mouth. Elliot looked over at her, caught her eyes and smile, and then quickly looked away.

"It's over, Liv." he said, looking at his hands. Olivia didn't respond.

They kept sitting there side to side, avoiding any kind of contact. Elliot's back was leaned against the back of the couch. It was comfortable and safe, sitting next to her, knowing that everything was over, and now she would be alright.

Moments passed… Silently…

The sleep was about to take him over.

Suddenly, his yawning was cut short, as he felt her head on his left shoulder. Without thinking he wrapped his arms around her in a protective shield as he lightly kissed the top of her head stroking her hair. Olivia shivered at the warm contact.

"You're gonna be alright, Liv.." he kept whispering, he was rocking her back and forth in his arms, "I won't let anything happen to you…"

Olivia put her left hand and leaned her head on Elliot's chest, listening to his heartbeats which made her feel safe and secure. Elliot closed his eyes at her touch and savoured every moment of it. He wrapped his arms around her again, and pulled her even closer to him.

That was hope…

* * *

**tbc...**


	8. Chapter 8

**LOST AND REDEEMED 8**

* * *

Elliot woke up at 2 am on the couch to find his partner asleep on his shoulder. His head was on top of hers, his arm around her waist, sheltering her safe from the world. He eased her back on the cushion, and moved a strand of hair that had fallen over her eyes, tangled with sweat. He reached out for the lamp on his side of the couch, congratulating himself on not having woken her, but when he turned back, her eyes were open.

"Liv?" he whispered, sleepy.

She didn't answer and just stared at him with weary eyes.

"Okay, come on, let's take you to bed." He lifted her into his arms as she buried her face in his shoulder, and threw her arms around his neck. He carried her to the bed, gently laid her down, pulling the covers over her body.

"You alright?" he asked, "Now, I'll be just outside. Good night, Olivia." Giving her one last glance he made his way back to the couch.

He sat on the couch, facing four pictures of him and Olivia which were eleborately lined up on the side table, and sank to his thoughts but as the hours passed, he began to lose hope again. The pain and fear were too much for him. He couldn't take this alone, it was unbearable.

He quickly pushed himself up off the couch and stood there for a short moment. He tried concealing his teary eyes with one shaky hand. He knew he needed her as much as she needed him. He slowly walked to the bedroom door and opened it, holding his breath when the door creaked softly.

She was sleeping in his bed with her feet sticking out from the sheets and she looked peaceful. After changing his mind for a few times Elliot finally walked in. He closed the door behind him and held his breath, moving quietly over to the side of the bed. When she didn't wake up he stepped closer and stood next to her.

He didn't dare to touch her at first, knowing if he would, he probably couldn't control himself. He didn't want to break down in front of her. Instead, he kept quiet and sneaked into bed beside her, cuddling up to her warmer body. At first she flinched, but eventually she relaxed in his arms. Just before he'd fallen asleep she rolled into him and put her arms over his as they curled around her, pulling him closely into her, squeezing him tightly.

The feel of her faint body made him so sad, he wanted to cry, but he didn't let himself. He just held her and was glad to be allowed to. The two of them laid on his bed together, his arms wrapped around her trembling body.

* * *

.1.

Olivia opened her eyes and looked around. She was here. But where was here? This room? Nothing was familiar. Panic hit her like icy water. The room was dark as the blackest thing at night and as bright as the most painful headache in the day. And then she'd heard footsteps just outside the door of the unfamilar room.

The door opened. She closed her eyes and willed herself away, to no avail. She opened them again. Marc was standing in the doorframe right in front of her horrified eyes. He was talking but all she could hear was the pounding of her own blood in her ears. Suddenly she got up from the bed and tried to run away from him but he grabbed her arm.

He was shouting..

Olivia punched him on the nose and when he bent over she kicked him on the face. He groaned and let go of her arm. She ran away from him as he approached. Olivia was petrified by the sight of her brother. He was standing only a foot away, waiting to see what she'd do. She ran as fast as she could but he caught her and hold her.

Things were going to get really bad - she knew he was going to punish her hard for trying to escape. She had no clue what he was going to do to her, and she tried to fight him and struggled against him but he was seriously strong.

He was now screaming..

Finally when she was free from his grip, she turned around, eyes fuming with rage. She looked around and caught a sight of something by the cabinet, something that she thought would be very useful. Without a second thought, she simply ran to the gun and grabbed it strongly.

* * *

.2.

The next morning, they were still entwined when Elliot woke up. They had both slept so deeply, they had barely moved. He kissed the side of her head to see if she was awake; but she was sound asleep. He slowly got up from the bed, leaving the curtains closed, he made his way to the kitchen and set to work with feverish energy.

A few minutes later, the breakfast was ready. Placing the tray on the coffee table, Elliot made his way to the bedroom to check on Olivia. At first he thought she was asleep but then he saw her terrified eyes. Something was terribly wrong, he figured.

"Liv, you okay?" he asked.

She didn't respond, instead she got up from the bed and tried to ran out of the room. Elliot grabbed her arm and tried to look her in the eye; but her eyes were wide shot.

"OLIVIA" he raised his voice as she began struggling in his arms. "It's Elliot! I'm Elliot! LIV!"

Suddenly she turned around and punched him on the nose. He grabbed his face and bent over only to feel the second blow on his face.

"Oh god.." he moaned.

Elliot lost his footing. The room was spinning around. Olivia was free now. She ran away from him. Elliot tried to hold her but she was strong and furious.

In one quick second, she was at the far corner of the room grabbing Elliot's gun. She got up, pointing the gun right at her partner.

* * *

"Liv.. Take it easy, okay?" his was voice was shaking now. She said nothing.

"Liv.. It's me, Elliot, your partner, come on, Liv! Wake up!"

All she could see was Marc's scary face. All she could feel was the deep sorrow… and the deep impact of his gaze. She felt anger, fear, betrayal, terror… But she couldn't realize that the man standing in front of her, pleading her to wake up, was not the man she hated. She couldn't realize that the man was Elliot Stabler, her partner, her best friend, her confidant and her conscience… The man she loved and the man she longed for ten years…

"You wouldn't…" Elliot whispered.

In her rage and desperation, she simply pulled the trigger as she stared into his face. The bullet buried itself into his chest and he hissed in pain. He looked right at her eyes as his body collapsed to the floor.

* * *

**tbc...**


	9. Chapter 9

"_You wouldn't…" Elliot whispered._

_In her rage and desperation, she simply pulled the trigger as she stared into his face. The bullet buried itself into his chest and he hissed in pain. He looked right at her eyes as his body collapsed to the floor._

* * *

**LOST AND REDEEMED 9**

* * *

Suddenly, she realized who he was, and who he wasn't. Her eyes opened wider in absolute terror. Olivia was trembling uncontrollably.

The pain, the terror were all playing on her mind. She had just shot her partner.

Her best friend.

The man she loved.

She dropped the gun as she stared horrified at what she had done. Her mind was in a whirl and she didn't know what to do until she heard a sound; a groan of pain from Elliot. The sound he made brought her out of her distruction. He wasn't dead.

"Liv…"

She knelt beside him on the floor. He was simply lying there, blood pouring from the wound in his right chest and he was gasping for air. His eyes were slightly open.

"Liv…"

Elliot tried to get up, but as soon as he started moving a burning pain shot through his body, so he decided it was probably best to remain still. Olivia felt nauseous just looking at him.

"Liv… call… a bus!"

She cloed her eyes in disgust. Her head was spinning, her eyes squezed tightly shut

Her brow furrowed as she quickly crawled away.

"OLIVIA!"

Olivia curled up into a ball at the far corner; her eyes clasped tightly shut as though protecting herself from the overwhelming sense of guilt. Elliot was losing consciousnessdue to pain and blood loss, yet he managed to reach and grab the phone and dial Captain Cragen's number, just before the darkness took over…

Sweat beading on her face, Olivia beat the back of her head on the wall in abject frustration. She just kept beating so the pain would mask the feeling of what was going on inside her heart.

The minutes crawled by slowly for Olivia. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes…

Terror. Frustration. Shame. Guilt…

Tears rolled freely down her cheeks. She lost track of time. Lost track of everything. Her head spun, sickness washed over her. Hours passed. Days passed. Weeks. Months. How long? How long? She didn't know. She didn't care. She just wanted it to stop. Please, please someone make it stop. STOP! Stop this creepy voice which kept haunting her.

_You killed him… You killed him..! KILLED HIM!_

* * *

Twenty minutes later paramedics rushed to Elliot's apartment, carrying medical bags and a gurney. Olivia just remained where she was as they assessed Elliot's condition. He was then carried away on the gurney and taken by an ambulance to the hospital. That was when Captain Cragen walked in and came near Olivia. He knelt beside her, taking her right hand in his with an anxious expression fixed on his face.

"Olivia?"

Her trembling body was covered in sweat. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Her eyes held a vacant stare. Her head rolled slowly from side to side. She started shaking with terrifying sobs and held him tight. Don tried to soothe her while wanting the right words to come to mind. At that time, his only concern was her well-being. With one final sob, Olivia's ears began ringing and then everything went black.

* * *

Somewhere in the back of her consciousness it registered that there was a constant beeping sound in the background. _Hospital again._ Slowly, ever so slowly, she started to wake up. _Light._ She registered dim light through her eyelids. She moaned low in her throat as her eyes finally opened, taking a long time to focus. She was in a hospital room. _Alone._ Alone with her pain. Alone with her guilt. She knew that Elliot was dead. She knew she'd killed him. She killed him and now everyone hated her, as she hated herself. Noone was at her side, noone loved her anymore. Noone cared… She was alone as always…

She closed her eyes but the tears flowed through. She knew that sleep was as distant and far away as her partner was. And her brother… Simon… Everything seemed so far away. Everyone she loved was far away now. She had no hope. Elliot was gone and he had taken all of her hope with him. Everything seemed so dark and dull and she almost wanted to give up life. What was there left to live for? She was not living she was just berely surviving.

As fresh tears rolled down her face, her arms slowly wrapped around herself, cradling her body. A slow click made her look up, and as she saw the door open she reached and quickly wiped away her tears. She breathed heavily_,_ her heart threatening to pound through her chest.

"Elliot…" she whispered. Her throat ached, trying to release a cry. She swallowed.

Blue eyes greeted her as he walked in. His right arm was in a cast, and the side of his neck seemed to be bruised, yet he was alive. ALIVE! There were tears in his eyes. There were tears in his voice too, as he answered:

"Just keep talking. I need to hear you talk again, Liv.."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I never meant. I never meant to hurt you. I just…"

As Elliot saw that she was crying again, he came over.

"It's ok, Liv."

She couldn't hold back the tears now, and more rolled down her cheeks. Elliot held his arms open slightly "Come here," he said gently and held her close, her head resting on his chest. She was thankful for him. He reached up, slowly stroked her hair, and carefully rested his head on hers, trying to console her any way he could.

"Everything's gonna be alright.."

Her cries had turned to gentle sobbing and he lifted his head from hers and she pulled away slowly. As she raised her head Elliot looked down at her, and gave a small smile.

"Thank you." She said softly.

He smiled again, happy to see that there was still hope for both of them. He knew Olivia wouldn't be the same for a long while. It wouldn't be easy for both of them, but they had each other. They were side by side during those hard times, and during the good times. Now, that was love. He knew that, and she knew that too. That was all they needed. Elliot smiled to himself…

"Let's get out of here.." he spoke.

"Elliot, we need to…" Olivia hessitated. But then she remembered all things she had said to the victims about confronting their attackers. She wiped her eyes with shaky hands and continued:

"I know who did this to us…"

* * *

**THE END**


End file.
